I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She's JV to your varsity
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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