Pappa wants mamma naked
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
