This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
