I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
