She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I know her cup size but not her name....
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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