We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
