i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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