redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
