are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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