he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
do herpes really smell.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
