Apparently you make a good broom.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
