Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
