I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
