The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Randomize
