D3 body, D1 cock
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
