Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
