Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
