Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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