Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
