just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
