I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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