I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
