Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The power of my boobs compel you
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
