Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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