I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
