i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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