My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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