I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
