his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
