Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
