Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So squirting runs in the family.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Do you remember whose house we're in?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
