Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Boobs are out for the taking
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
