Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
