I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
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