Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
