oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
