I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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