He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
