it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
