Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
