You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
