when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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