That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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