How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
