You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
