I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
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