What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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