Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
