Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just pee around me
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
