every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
